All throughout my college life I believed that I could believe I could be a part of something and be able to contribute and be a leader. I was able to do that in a couple of clubs that gave me a good amount of respect & knowledge. But one group that I was a part of since my second semester has done nothing but pull me down. I wanted to find myself, fit in, & find meaning. I thought that by continuing with this group after a great experience, I could contribute & be a leader like the other clubs I have been a part of. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I was never able to move up the ladder & have been nothing but pushed around (kinda like a mid-major getting left off the big-boy table). I thought those three years in that circle was like family to me. Now after I graduate, I pledged to contribute, but they seem to keep moving without me as if I was never important. The buck stops here. After this weekend. I will no longer be involved with them anymore. I thought I could find good in this group, & that my time would come. It never did. It never will. I will always be friends with most of the people I met in this circle. But I need to move on. I have held on for too long & now I need to let it go.
I have a good job that could be better but @ least I am moving up. I also work with Matty Liu in promoting Friday & Saturday Night surf Themed Events @ Red Lion University & Playbar Waikiki, respectively. I am bummed that I won't be able to work as a concierge this year due to the weak economy, but @ least I have been able to meet & hang out with different celebrities & nice people I have gotten to know over the past few months in my free time to make up for it.
As I move forward, I need to continue to find myself & trust in god so that I can make the right moves & be with the right people. I am not a party person all the time, it just so happens I meet people in different situations. I have also cut back on negative things & not regret missing out on things I planned on doing in advance. Like finding a job right away (but that's why I'm going back to grad school), & going to Maui for the hoops tournament (tickets were too expensive & there isn't much to do & the weather sucks this weekend) & that work is giving me more now for even better things later. Before I close out, i want to say to those in that group, I don't mean to offend anyone in any way, shape, or form, as you will always be a colleague of mine. I just need to keep my life in order so I can really find what I am looking for somewhere down the road & look to things that will really help me see & bring out the best in me. Until next time, have a happy thanksgiving & be thankful for what ya got!
P.S.:Here are a couple of Songs that I have learned about myself & hope that others can learn from it.
Hoobastank - My Turn
Lifehouse - Broken